Whether you think LeBron James is basketball’s GOAT, one thing is for certain: he is one of the most dominant athletes to have played the game.
But where does his success (and longevity) come from? There is no doubt that he is a genetic freak, a gifted athlete blessed with godly genes and skills.
And yet, at a time when most of the players in his rookie class have retired or are close to winding down his careers, James is still in active pursuit of excellence. And genetics aside, it is widely known that James invests heavily in his diet, training, and recovery.
In short, despite his genetic gifts and innate talent, the player dubbed as The King won’t be anywhere he is right now if not for the help from the experts he has surrounded himself with.
Why people are afraid to ask for help
Rhonda Britten, life coach, Emmy Award winner, and founder of the Fearless Living Institute says that athletes like James and high performers in different industries all acknowledge a simple yet sometimes ignored truth: that they can’t do everything. They all need help.
So why are there people who would rather suffer than get the help that they need and deserve?
Myth number one: people are unwilling to help
Some people are reluctant to ask for help because they think others are unwilling to give a helping hand.
And along with that perceived unwillingness comes the fear of rejection. So why even bother?
But these are just myths.
According to the life coach, if you muster the courage to ask for help from someone close to you, they are likely to respond positively to your request because of your shared history.
Even people on the fringes of your social circle are more than willing to lend a helping hand, no matter how uncomfortable the idea of requesting someone you are not intimate with.
In fact, your acquaintances can prove invaluable in providing help that may not be readily available to you. This is because of their unique position in your life. They can offer new perspectives and introduce you to their connections.
Myth number two: asking for help is for the weak
According to Rhonda Britten, people are reluctant to ask for help because they might be perceived as weak, incompetent, or lazy.
This fear is what a life coach would call social costs.
But again, the social costs of asking for help are nothing but a myth. At worst, most people won’t see the act of asking for assistance as anything negative. At best, asking for help can be seen as an act made by a competent person, especially at work.
The act of requesting help can transmit the message that you are both humble and wise enough to acknowledge that you can’t know or do everything.
How to ask for help – top tips from life coach Rhonda Britten
Whether you are asking for help at work or a life-changing decision, seeking help benefits not only the person making the request. Indulging another person’s request can make you feel good.
According to Rhonda Britten of the Fearless Living Institute, the proliferation of self-help books and the idea of self-reliance may have made it difficult for people to acknowledge the need to ask for assistance.
If you are scared of asking for help (and getting rejected), here are a few tips from Rhonda Britten.
Be clear about what you need
When you are requesting help, resist the urge to over explain.
Instead, tell the other person what your request is, the reason behind the request, and what exactly you need.
Rhonda Britten adds that when you are asking for help, you should come in ready to negotiate and accept the terms laid down by the other person.
Be mindful of the word you use
Fearless Living Institute’s top life coach explains that using apologetic words can frame your request in a negative light.
In short, don’t say sorry for asking for help.
Avoid using phrases like “I hate to ask.” or “Can I ask for a favor.”
Ask for help in person
Although it may seem difficult to ask for somebody’s help, you are bound to get better results if you ask that person face-to-face instead of texting or writing an email.
When you are talking to the other person, you need to explain why he or she is the best person to do the task you are requesting. This makes the other person feel more helpful.
Finally, don’t promise anything in return for the favor. It may sound counterintuitive, but promising something in return makes the ask transactional and robs the other person of the feeling of being genuinely appreciated.
Fearless living means being courageous enough to ask for help
Everyone needs help at one point or another. Why should you be afraid to ask for help when you need it?
If the most successful people in different industries are willing to acknowledge their need for assistance, why should you deny yourself of that? You’ll be surprised by the number of people who are eager to help you.
Rhonda Britten of Fearless Living says that all you need to do is ask.